Rayburn must have thought that I looked like a true menace to society in my button down shirt skating down the Broadway towards home after watching fireworks, which totally sucked and were too short, with Emily and her roomate (check out the awesome picture). After nearly running me off the road with his patrol car, which was completely unnecessary, and yelling for me not to run (I was simply setting my board down on the grass) he proceeded to pat me down for drugs which I'm sure he thought I was loaded with... then he found a bag... uh oh ... what could it be... what could Jonny Danger have on him that he could be busted for... Officer Rayburn looked like he had hit the jackpot and was about to have the biggest bust of his life until he pulled out my bag of.... Sweedish Fish...
looking foolish while still on his power trip probably angered him more so he decided to put the cuffs on me and bring me downtown where they checked my record... While they were checking my extensive criminal background (only a few speeding tickets) I told them about volunteering for Big Brother and attending Bowdoin College, and going for my PHD and thoroughly made him feel like an asshole in front of his cop buddies for bringing in a hard working upstanding citizen like myself. I had even put a headlight and tail light on my board for safety to be better seen at night. I had pretty much done everything I could to follow the law but got busted for a law I didn't even know existed! They even went so far as to impound my longboard as evidence until after my court date!!! Can you believe that? I think I nearly got him to apologize... nearly although he still kept me in cuffs in the corner like a criminal for 45 minutes.
This morning I went to court for it and had to sit through 30 to 40 cases of either marijuana possession or disorderly conduct until they finally got to my case. By then the judge was just pissed off and said right off after I pleaded guilty (the offense was less severe than that of a traffic ticket) that I should attend a "class" on the 23rd... "A class of what?" I asked. "Vehicular safety" the judge replied... What.... I was on a friggin Longboard!!! I asked him what the fine was and he said, "50 bucks". I said I'd just pay that and walked out of the courtroom.
As I was paying the fine several lawyers behind me asked what my offense was. My official offense as stated (and I shit you not on this) was... and I quote, "Operating a play vehicle on Broadway"..... yup... a "play vehicle". How lame is that. The lawyers behind me got a good laugh about it and we all agreed how stupid it was for me to get busted for that. This whole experience leaves a very bad taste in my mouth for law enforcement. I respect cops for the most part but it's those few assholes like Deputy Rayburn that really give cops a bad name.
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